When Kubrick met Dora Bryan

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John Malkovich as conman Alan Conway in Colour Me Kubrick


By Jeremy Miles

Singer and impressionist Joe Longthorne has seen it all. In a roller coaster career that started when he was just a teenager he has experienced adulation and despair. At the height of his fame he was mobbed by thousands of adoring fans but a combination of business troubles and a life-threatening illness came close to destroying him.

Now, having battled his way back from adversity, he's smiling again. As he prepared to bring his latest UK tour to Bournemouth's Pier Theatre on Friday he told me: "I feel better now than I have done for 10 years." He says that years of suffering from the debilitating disease lymphoma was finally resolved by a bone-marrow transplant. I was incredibly lucky they found a match within seven days...It made a huge difference."

His bankruptcy - he was once so desperate for funds that he begged fans to send him lottery tickets - is also well and truly behind him. "I'm free as a bird now," he told me happily. He's philosophical about the difficulties he found himself in "I had too much too young. I didn't have a clue, but that's showbusiness.

"I once received a £50,000 bill from an accountant for bits and bobs'. There are always conmen around. Every third person in showbusiness gets done one way or another, its just one of those things..."

Curiously perhaps Joe, 53, still can't bring himself to talk about the one conman who was so convincing that he persuaded him that he was the world-famous film director Stanley Kubrick. Back in the early 1990s Alan Conway, a nondescript former burglar from Middlesex, duped dozens of people into believing he was the reclusive and rarely photographed American movie-maker.

So spectacular was his success that, following his death some years later, his escapades were made into the film Colour Me Kubrick with John Malkovich as the unlikely conman. The film, which Longthorne refused to have any involvement with, won lavish praise at Cannes but bizarrely went straight to DVD.

Ironically the Conway-Kubrick episode actually started for Joe Longthorne right here in Bournemouth. It was during one of  Joe's summer seasons  that  the town's one-time theatres publicity officer Tony Hardman got a call from a friend saying that Kubrick was in town and staying at the four star Carlton Hotel.

Hardman was  invited to meet the bogus movie man and  in a story that gets stranger by the minute was so impressed that he  decided to introduce the charismatic director to his current house guest, the actress Dora Bryan. He then took them both to see Joe at the Bournemouth International Centre.

Hardman says that though Bryan was suspicious  - "I think she  was unconvinced " - Joe was incredibly excited and invited Kubrick backstage. He says that the affect Conway's presence had on people who believed they were talking to the director of 2001 A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange, The Shining and Full Metal Jacket was extraordinary. "They started to bow and scrape, no doubt expecting parts in whatever his next film was going to be."

While Conway, a long-time fantasist, seemed perfectly prepared to pay his way Hardman says he was soon staying in plush hotels at the expense of others. "He allowed people to convince themselves that he was Stanley Kubrick and then they started footing the bill for things."

As Hardman would later discover Conway looked nothing like the real Kubrick but he somehow had a way of making people believe his lies. Among those putting their hand in their pocket was Joe and according to Hardman it wasn't long before the con-man was driving around in Longthorne's Rolls Royce.

Having been given short shrift by Joe, the makers of the movie Colour Me Kubrick turned to Jim Davidson, another entertainer who had fallen for the Conway hoax, to play the celebrity victim. Cast drastically against type, Davidson played an ageing and extremely camp singer called Lee Pratt. The character he stresses, somewhat unconvincingly, was in no way based on Longthorne. "Lee Pratt is complete crap and Joe is one of the best stage performers in the business," says Davidson, adding that Longthorne was also just one of many people who were conned by the appropriately named Conway. "There were plenty of others."

Davidson maintains that the film shows how Conway prayed on people's vanity. "I met him and I certainly didn't suss him straight away. He got me on the hook. He said: "So are you Jim Davidson the comedian and I'm thinking 'That's amazing, Stanley Kubrick knows who I am'. This is what the film is all about. How we all wanted Stanley Kubrick as our mate."

Longthorne starts briefly to discuss the same subject and tells me that for a while he really believed that Conway was Kubrick. "I'm an impersonator. I naturally observe people. And I would never have guessed that that man wasn't from Brooklyn."

He suddenly realises where the conversation is going: "We'd better stop this or I'll have to get on to the lawyers," he tells me, adding with a laugh: "Or maybe not, they're far too dear."

ly© Jeremy Miles 2017